Good Birth Control

I’m a little behind on posting this in response to my friend Alyssa of Life From My Laptop. It seems that I took so long thinking about this that it slipped my mind to come back and post it! I mean really, it’s quite difficult to think of seven whole things about myself that you’d find interesting enough to read, but here’s my best shot:

1. My favorite color is orange. Weird, right? Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want an orange car or orange furniture!
2. I like to watch the old black and white Twilight Zone on the SciFi channel. I love it when they have all day Twilight Zone marathons.
3. Movies I will watch EVERY time they are on television, regardless of commercials or what is on other channels: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Legends of the Fall, Jerry Maguire, Dances with Wolves & A Knight’s Tale (odd combination, huh? I have no idea why, but I can’t seem to change the channel when I see these movies on!)
4. The sound of people chewing their food annoys me and makes me paranoid about how I might sound while eating.
5. Fall is my favorite season. It makes me think of the cycle of life. It’s far enough along that you can look back and appreciate all that is gone, yet there is still time left to experience life.
6. I am a product of teen pregnancy. Because my mother is only 14 years and 11 months older than me, many people think my mom is my sister. Sometimes when I have PMS or feel sorry for myself, I wonder how my mother survived as a young mother when I’m barely coping as an adult mother. I try to talk to this awesome woman by phone daily, even if it’s only for a moment to hear her voice.
7. I’m a toilet paper snob. Only Charmin is good enough for my hiney… I pack my own toilet paper in my suitcase on vacations! I have even been known to keep a roll in the glove box for long road trips!

So there you have it. I certainly hope that was worth knowing!

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First, let me just say right up front, on Sunday, I like to take it easy. I like to stay in bed and sleep, watch tv, veg out and just be as lazy as possible all day. Donald and some coworkers decided to play golf this morning and he took Biscuit with him. This blew my lazy day out of the water because Wrangler was upset about not getting to go. So I told him that we would eat at the China Star buffet to make up for it then we’d go to Dollar General and buy twisty balloons to make balloon animals when we were done. This pleased him, of course!

First, I must compliment Wrangler because he tried a variety of several foods that he has never eaten before and liked most of them. The buffet was packed with several people that had just left church and a family of Mennonites sat next to us. Because I am more of a spiritual person than a religious member, my two younger children have only attended church with my grandmother, and that was quite a while ago so they don’t think quite the same as other “Sunday School” taught children.

As we were finishing our meal and enjoying our “Mommy and Me” time, the waiter returned with the bill and fortune cookies. Fortune cookies were another new experience for Wrangler, so I showed him how to break it and pull the fortune out. I read his fortune to him as he ate his cookie: Your creative imagination will be useful in achieving your goals this week.

So after I explained what his imagination was and how he has an extremely healthy one, he got very serious and said, “Mom, I know who God is”. I swear, I could FEEL every church-goer in the room lean closer to hear this… I calmly ask, “Really? Who is it?” He points to the waiter and says, “That man that speaks Spanish and brought me my fortune! How else could he know about my ‘magination unless he was God?”

Yeah, everyone was speechless. I smiled and said, “Honey, this is a Chinese restaurant and the man speaks Chinese, but I’m not sure he’s God.” To this he answers as if I’m the most ignorant person in the room, “I KNOW he’s God. I’ve seen God before and he has a beard just like the fortune cookie man.”

So there you have it folks. God is a waiter at the Chinese Buffet.

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This morning a friend sent me a link to a funny viral marketing campaign for Wendy’s. It was entertaining and and fun. You can upload your own face, choose your body style, clothing and voice (you can even upload your own voice if you want).

If you have a few minutes and want some to have some fun, check out my Wendy’s body and vote for me! I’m wearing the teal blouse with pink sweater and brown jeans if you don’t recognize my “mug”.

After you vote for me, make your own Wendy’s body and come back here, leave me a comment telling me where I can see yours! I’ll even vote for you!

Vote for me to win FREE BURGERS FOR LIFE!

P.S. I wish I could win Frosties for life! LOL

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Tell Me Thursday for:
PMS = Hubby Makes Dinner

Obviously, it all started with my having PMS and being a total grouch. In fact, this past year, my PMS has been worse than EVER. It has been so bad that I can’t even stand being in my own body! Midol helps alot, but generally I don’t realize I need it until I’ve already removed everyone’s head in the house.

So, on this particular night, Donald decided to spare the guys in the house some additional “wrath of mom” by making dinner. When I say make dinner, I have to mention that I still had to go in the kitchen to make tea. It totally irritates me that I seem to make tea all day long and I’ll be lucky to get one glass before the jug is empty again. I’ve told Donald how to make it MY way but he refuses and says I make it best.

So, while I’m having the “tea fit” AGAIN, he starts preparing everyone’s plates. I finish making the tea, filling the glasses and go to sit down at the table to find my own little dinner of… b*tch bread - compliments of my sweet, patient, irritating husband.

Yeah, I laughed. The bread had FANGS. How could I not at least crack a smile?

Are you suffering from PMS attacks as well? Visit StopThePMS.com for some helpful ideas to help manage the time of the month when your fangs and claws appear.

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Last night was open house for Biscuit and it went rather well. I was informed that Biscuit may be too smart for his own good (she noticed, too?) and that most of his warnings in class for talking was because he is not challenged and finishes his work before the other kids. He also reads things that other students can’t yet read inside the classroom. That part wasn’t really surprising to me after I walked in his room and heard him reading a book for teens that he found on the bookshelf.

So after the conference with his teacher, we looked at all the art the class had done in preparation for Open House. One section of the wall decorating the entrance to the classroom was “What I Want To Be When I Grow Up” and I just had to share some of these because they made me giggle:

• Three girls want to be a cheerleader when they grow up.
• One boy wants to “Ride in space and look for aliens when I grow up”.
• Another boy wants to be Nacho Libre.

Biscuit decided he wants to be a teacher. Thank goodness because his desire to be a whistle blower had me worried!

This all reminded me of being in first grade myself and doing the same project for my own Open House. I will never forget my mother’s face when she saw my paper. Betcha can’t guess what I wanted to be?

A babysitter. Yeah, how ironic. Thank God I came to my senses.

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Are you suffering from PMS?
Visit StopThePMS.com for helpful PMS remedies.

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